1. First casualty of the campaign: crossbow-bolted steak
2. The gnomes are behind every thing. EVERYTHING!!!
3. When caught trying escape to become a serial killer of gnomes, putting on a pouty face will get you out of all trouble
4. Sentient Caneswords are the worst guards
5. You're a 12 year old and have no concept of money
6. Horses, come!
7. "If not for the steak, we would've lost" -Xela
8. "This is MOST odd!" - Gunner
9. GM: "You see a wood elf hiding in in the trees with a bow trained on you" Aero: "I wave at him" Rest of the Party: "You should tip your hat at him" Aero: "I have no hat. It is my greatest shame..."
10. "EAT THE (X), GAIN ITS POWER" is not allowed to be the defining rule of the campaign
11. "Well, lord sharpington can slice a dick" -Brain
12. "We do not need to get beyond the Thunderdome, just into it" -Brain
13. Cutting remarks, a sharp wit, an unbendable spirit, and iron jimmies. All attributes of the great Lord Sharpington.
14. "Yes, you must have a great ass" -Xela
15. Hit it with your thing!
16. "All contracts are now in Sphinx" -Xela
17. Explosive Runes is best spells
18. The first enemy of the campaign was once Patrick Stewart
19. "Roll for tits!" -Xela
20. "She did it with her hair" -Xela
21. Yes, you can wrap the naked man in a sheet, but no you cannot wrap his penis in very finely crafted doilies
22. If you find a portable hole in a jail, there is a chance it will be filled with 10'x10' of hallucinagenics
23. Everything, including legs, tenacles, and conciousnesses, has a wife and kids. It was also about to retire
24. Sektor is the most majestic horse
25. WONK THE SPHONX!
26. Turns out, we did need to go beyond the Thunderdome
27. "There is a 20% chance of a fake unicorn" -Xela
28. "That would be a butler check if I've heard one" -Xela
29. "Calling a Gnome an animal is an insult to animals." -AeroCmdr
30. "You don't die, but you leave a huge crater." -Xela
31. "Occasionally there are fat mangy looking squirrels" - Xela
32. "You are now a eunuch" - Trahsi
33. "I leveled up, so I have four arms now" - Trahsi
34. "Augghhh, Why do I know the names of these ponies?!!" - Dragoon
35. Literally beating a dead horse is recommended
36. "I LOVE PONY MEAT! I LOVE PONY MEAT!!!" - Box
37. ALWAYS HANDLE ANIMAL
38. "I diplomacized a bear!" - The Box
39. "It's a tiger made out of multiple tigers!" - Trahsi
40. "I'm hoping to distract it with my other ball" - TheBox
41. If you encounter Catpeople, you can distract them by balling up rope and pretending that it is yarn
42. Any session that ends with party members as dinosaurs was a good session
43. Lutes make MAD dubstep. Lutestep.
44. Yes, this is a drug deal check. - XelaReko
45. "I'm gonna ride you" - BrainStew
46. "Please don't dominate my wolf." -Gunner
47. "I got Yahtzee! I win!" - XelaReko
48. "Aw damn he's back, he can heal himself" -Xela
49. We would like to party our way out of this! - Gunner
50. "He used up all of his actions with ninja flips." - Xela
51. "That horse has already been sailed." -Xela
52. And then dragoon invented Hentai...
53. Dragoon: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU-"
54. "Toll booth man may speak because he is clearly an important public official" -Xela
55. The ship's club is now officially named Below Deck
56. "attempting to break into unstinted doodle flute alterations"
57. Everyone can be dismissed due to the fact that they are not of sound mind.
58. A law Degree from Elfland superceeds all rules and allows you to be both the defense and prosecution.
59. "PHOOMP, cup their balls!" - XelaReko
60. "HE HAS 1D30 CATS!" - XelaReko
61. Airtight broom closet
62. "So I hear you're a devil in the sack." - Xela
63. "Unless you pacify her with your dick." - Xela
64. "Can't leave a unit untested!" - XelaReko
65. "I caress the knothole" - Gunner
66. "Some are scary, some are dinosaurs" - Xela
67. "Or you can pull and azure wind and just go and sell drugs"
68. "You guys don't have a rogue! Proceed as you will."
69. "It's a house, so it takes a rather large minus to its acrobatics check."
70. "Can you diplomasize your way into someone's pants?" -Caitiri
71. "Everything is a Smithery"
72. Best way to stall a monster: filibuster
73. Do not expect the angry villagers to help in your fight. Expect them to abandon their entire lives in protest.
74. No, touch spells are not a good idea against lava spewing monsters.
75. If a stable destroying, fire creating being from another plane appears in front of you, your best bet is to check if it is from the Disco Plane first.
76. Narcolepsy can and will explain all unexpected disconnects
77. The 12 year old elf has the most experience in enlarging people
78. The sentient Canesword may be made of bacon
79. Attempting to defeat the monster may, in fact, result in destroying more of the village
80. Slight of hand is the answer to every 'retrieve item' quest
81. When vomiting spiders at an enemy, remember spiders have no concept of allies or enemies
82. There is always time for puns!
83. If given the option, the Azure Wind crew will ALWAYS choose run away
84. All swamps contain rodents of unusual size
85. Even when running away from a mass of enemies there is aways time to check for gnomes
86. It is always a good time to serve tea
87. Cowboy is the best measurement of speed
88. A stabbing addiction can generally cured by an attack of giant bees
89. No regard for your health will be given if you are responsible for the problem
90. There is no shame in stabbing helpless creatures.
91. "You could've Hydro-Pumped him!" - Brainstew
92. The writhing mass of thunderous sky tentacles is actually very sneaky
93. The campaign may or may not take place in Japan
94. Insane laughter is the appropriate response to a large influx of gnomes
95. Despite the possible end of the world, there will always be time for shenanigans
96. If you have a poor enough perception check even the forest looks suspicious
97. Do not trust the gnome-hating Ranger with any diplomatic duties
98. Always listen to the sentient canesword
99. "From Cilinorth they brought..." "Racism."
100. The most important question when in a new town is "How's the foie gras?"
101. Any wolf in the party automatically needs a tophat and a monocle
102. Check your buttle is the appropriate way to refer to a butler check
103. The party is willing to waste a significant amount of time debating proper dress for a wolf
104. Cats are capable of owning shops, even if they make poor hiring choices
105. "Are you the Darth Vader of rangers?" - Xtine
106. The simplest way to find a unicorn is to die an elf
107. Sometimes honesty is not the best option, especially when it concerns unicorn charms
108. Personal knowledge of the DM makes it much easier to avoid his major plot points
109. 'I even got the guards to watch' - Xela
110. Lie detectors will mess up even the best attempts to avoid jail
111. If you bluff well enough everything will work out
112. The best idea when about to be arrested is to close the door
113. Never underestimate the neighborhood watch
114. Even if it's a terrible idea, it may be worth the hilarity
115. Extreme force may be used to make the party conform to a basic plot
116. Yes, you can always make the situation worse.
117. Never question where the liquor came from.
118. It is acceptable to break out of jail, as long as you break back in later.
119. The plot window is clearly the best window
120. Even when drunk it is possible to be way more perceptive then the trained guards
121. Critical success may result in screaming locks and alarms going off
122. The missing party member may, in fact, be in the locked chest
123. Dipping your weapon in drugs it always the best option
124. "I rub it all over myself" -Lambmower
125. Sektor88, Master Lumberjack/Engineer/Horse
126. "The window is a window fiercly" - Xela
127. "So that happens" - Xela, every session
128. "Is the window entangled?" - BrainStew
129. "I'm gonna try to diplomasize the lock off the door." - Caitiri
130. "Okay........... Do that." - XelaReko
131. "I'm giggling too hard I didn't hear what you said" - H-moon
132. "It doesn't want that." - Caitiri
133. "I'm gonna fuck that little twelve year old girl up" - BrainStew
134. "12 points of beard removal damage."
135. "Well actually it's just 12% of him, but that's not important." - XelaReko
136. "I go to the piano and stick the gnome inside it, for safety." - KidSpanner
137. "Things Caitiri cares about: Not you." - Caitiri
138. "I can smell blasphemy on the watermelony winds... of TIME!" - H-moon
139. "Before I do weird things with a tumor..." -Quarternote
140. Booze, it just happens
141. "I just rolled the dice and made it not a fucking whale." -Xela
142. Fuck it there is a train behind them -- Xela
143. "I got a natural 20 so that means I'm Irish." - Aeltrius
144. SixFootTurkey is now forest moses - QuarterNote
145. Formmost amazing horse to lumberjack to Shiva; Sektor's proposed character progression
146. "Why are you up there wall?" - Xela
147. "If you're dead I can't have my fun with you" - NimajReko
148. Yes, only add half of your fortitude save. -- Xela
149. "Did he just hit on me?" - Caitiri "No he paid you for your 'services'" - Xela
150. "Please can we Jack in the Beanstalk this shit" - BrainStew
151. "For the lack of better judgement, and the quest for xp; ONWARD!" - H-moon
152. Turkey shoots gods with arrows like it ain't no thang.
153. That moment of clarity when your GM realizes you're all invisible and shouldn't be able to see one another.
154. if a character requires Xela to bring out the Book of Erotic Fantasy, it is veto'd.
155. "good thing I was mostly impenetrable" - MasterGunner
156. "Steal the nailed down things too! I mean c'mon!" - Xtine
157. "Is that a thing? IT IS NOW!" - Caitiri
158. "So they're Laser Unicorn Dolphins?" "Yes" - BrainStew, XelaReko
159. "I have Knowledge Old Stuff, can I insult the rockslide's ancestors?" - BrainStew
160. "Yes, I will Hydro Pump the rockslide!" - HubbeKing
161. "Oh no! A swarm of Dire Badgers are upon you!" - XelaReko
162. "Can I electrocute them while they're on fire?" - Caitiri
163. "I can fascinate 42 of him, is that enough?" - HubbeKing
164. "Can I roll for chairs?" - BrainStew
165. "I rolled a 6." "I heard you say 9." - HubbeKing, XelaReko
166. "Did it only just now occur to you that [dolphins] are mammals?" - KidSpanner
167. "Terror is a universal language" - KidSpanner
168. "I smack the confused dolphin with the dolphin corpse." "With its brother." - KidSpanner, XelaReko
169. "Its level of fucked is ouch." - XelaReko
170. "How many d6-es does it take to determine how fucked this dolphin is by its brothers corpse?" - KidSpanner
171. "The dolphin collapses in a pile of tears and sadness, and then ceases to exist" - XelaReko
172. <XelaReko> You summon an army of 63 wombats.
173. <XelaReko> The wombats are armed with tear gas and rubber bullets.
174. I rolled a two. - KidSpanner, The sheep punches YOU. - XelaReko
175. "Roll for paint!" - XelaReko
176. "Do vikings stop working?" -capnrobert
177. "Alex, how do you open doors?" -Ben